I Spent 4 Hours Learning How To Make Kettle Cooked Chips So You Wouldn't Have To...

I Spent 4 Hours Learning How To Make Kettle Cooked Chips So You Wouldn't Have To...

*Sigh* I’m going to need you guys to let me vent for a second.

 

So I thought of this great low-cost, “EASY” (so I thought) recipe for the “I’m just going to bring chips” BBQ goers. You know those people who only bring chips to the function, I figured I give them a recipe to show out a little.

 

Side note: There is nothing wrong if your cooking capabilities are limited to grab and go food BUT this summer we are doing things differently. You are going to be the best chip bringer on this side of the earth

 

Hour 1

 

I began to make the kettle chips so I can take photos (we don’t use stock photos over chea’).

 

First, I pulled out my trusty new toy… my mandoline (get your mind out the gutter).

 

Now, let me just say this, I am a hands-on cook, I like to feel my food on my hands. So it didn’t dawn on me to see what the other pieces of the mandoline were for. I saw the slicer and blade, that was it.

 

SO BOOM! * Harlem hand claps*

I began slicing my sweet potatoes and they were coming out so beautiful. Nice and thin…just like a kettle chip should be. Welp… me going with the flow and swiping the sweet potato with rhythm and grace suddenly turned violent.

I caught my thumb. My first layer of skin was OFF.

 

Now. You would assume after you slice the top layer off of your thumb that you would learn your lesson and use the tool that came with the mandoline so YOU WOULDN’T SLICE YOUR FINGER AGAIN.

 

Nope.

 

I grab a russet potato, swiped it with rhythm and grace again, and “SLICE”, there goes the top layer of my middle finger.

The starch from the potato instantly burns my finger.

At this point, I need a break so I took a shot of tequila to ease the pain.

 

Hour 2

The worst part is over so I thought. I soaked the sliced russet potatoes, sweet potatoes, and beets to remove the starch. I’ve never made kettle chips from scratch before so this step made sense in my mind.

 

I let them soak for about 30 mins or so, rinsed them off until they were clear, and towel-dried them.I get my deep fryer heated up to 375 and drop the potatoes.

They looked good, started floating and I said ok it’s time to take them out of the grease.

 

I dropped them on the paper towel. Now here comes the test. I bite into it…ewww.. it was a soggy wrinkly potato. WTF?!

How? How could making kettle chips be more complex than this?

 

Hour 3

I try it again- still soggy.

 

I spent one hour trying million different ways to cook these kettle chips. To speed this therapy session up a bit here are the different ways I tried to make them crispy.

  • frying them halfway then baking them 
  • frying them halfway then putting them in the broiler 
  • pre-boiling them for 2-3 mins then frying them 
  • frying them without rinsing them 
  • turned the grease down let them slow cook 
  • turned the grease up to let them flash fry

 

(Don’t ask me why I was so determined to figure this out).

At this point of desperation, I YouTubed it- I NEVER DO THIS. It’s a pride thing. I am more than capable of figuring food out plus 90% of my recipes aren’t traditional so there is no need to google or youtube a recipe. I was desperate.

EVERY YOUTUBE VIDEO I FOUND lied. There is no way they got crispy kettle chips with their methods, I've tried them ALL.

 

Hour 4

I started to think of the science of food and how can you make something soft crispy, and it hit me!

Muthafuckn corn statch. MUTHAFUCKN CORN STARCH.

 

So…here is the recipe.

  1. Slice the potatoes, sweet potatoes, and beets with the mandoline.
  2.  In separate bowls rinse the potatoes and sweet potatoes until they rinse clear. Fill the bowl back up with water and add 2 caps full of white vinegar, a tablespoon of starch, and a little salt! “Swish” around. 
  3. Soak the beets in a separate bowl, add 2 caps full of white vinegar, 2 tablespoons of starch, and a little salt! “Swish” around. 
  4. Let soak for about 1 hour. Heat your grease to 375. 
  5. Take the potatoes and beets out of the water and pat dry. 
  6. Place the corn starch in 3 separate bags and shake the russet potatoes, sweet potatoes, and beet separately. 
  7.  Cook them individually. As you are frying them gently stir them so they won’t stick to each other. You should fry them separately because they all have different frying times.
  8. Once the russet potatoes turn LIGHT brown take them out of the grease and place them on a paper towel. 
  9. Do the same for the sweet potatoes and beets. 
  10.  Season them with Lupita's Chipotle Cowboy Seasoning.

 

There you have it MUTHFUCK*N CRISPY ASS BBQ KETTLE CHIPS!

Drops Mic

 

SO next time someone asks you to bring chips to the BBQ bring these.


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